More…and less

Well, here we are almost a month through a new year. I was hoping it would at least start less chaotic, but it doesn’t seem that will be the case.
I’m reaching a point where I want to do both more and less – more things I keep saying/thinking that I want to do, and less things being forced on me in whatever way the world sees fit. And while I do realize I don’t have full control of the latter, there’s still a fair amount I can manage.
This theme of “less” keeps popping up for me, and did most recently when I got a notification that someone started following me on Duolingo. This isn’t the first time it’s happened, but it just made me think…..I don’t even know you. Or speak your language. Or will ever interact with you in any way. Why is this even an option? You can also add your Duolingo stats to your LinkedIn profile now, which is a whole other ball of bees (I know it’s ball of wax, but that isn’t funny). I don’t need to share everything, and giving me the option somehow means I should? That it matters? I don’t know. I also realize the absolute irony of writing about not sharing on a blog…that is absolutely to share things. I’m a walking enigma. 😅
What I’d like to do for the month of February is write more. I used to write all the time, largely for myself, and it was great. I do plan on writing more blogs, but I’ll be doing them without expectation, which is what I think has kept me from doing it this whole time. I was meditating the other morning and I thought, “When you do things for the reaction of others, you’ll always be disappointed. When you do them for yourself, other’s reactions don’t affect you.” And I thought, shoot, that’s really smart! Than I got grumpy because I know I need to follow my own advice and I hate that. 😂
So I don’t think I’ll be a novelist, or write anything poignant, or anything of that sort, but I DO think I’ll find some part of me that wants to be seen again. Even if it’s only by me, and that’s ok.